Hello friends, I hope you all are safe and healthy in your homes. I am and if there’s one thing I’m doing, it’s playing a ton of video games. What a time to be alive for a gamer! We are home, we are engrossed, and we are loving Animal Crossing, Doom Eternal, Persona 5 Royal, Final Fantasy VII, and probably a few other A+ games that haven’t caught my eye yet.
While diving into these amazing worlds, I’m feeling anxiety about something I didn’t expect. I feel rushed. I feel pressured. I feel like I need to beat these games as fast as I can. And it’s not just so I can get to the next one. There are so many amazing choices; I can imagine people feeling stressed about getting through it all. Instead, I have this fear of hearing, seeing, or learning something I don’t want to. I’m scared of the spoilers. And yes, I’m looking at you, Internet.
Final Fantasy VII is one hell of a game. I’ve learned a lot about it over my years of being a video game and anime fan. I know a few major plot points, I know character quirks and mini-game shenanigans, I know Zack Fair (my favorite Final Fantasy character of all time), but for the most part FFVII's main title is a mystery to me. It is a legendary installment in the Final Fantasy franchise and in the gaming industry. It was groundbreaking then and I truly think the remake is groundbreaking now. Its story is layered and complex and timeless. I don’t want that deeply intricate tapestry to be ruined by a rogue Instagram comment or tweet.
Don’t get my wrong, I’m not searching for spoilers. I’m not hear to sound like a martyr when I’m doing it to myself. It’s all in the algorithms; they are so powerful, and you cannot stop them. These websites know me; they know I want to see FFVII content. And they’re totally right. I’m loving this game and I do, but there’s no filter. Searching for my dose of Good Mythical Morning (a part of my daily routine), a recommended video for a spoiler cutscene can appear out of nowhere— scrolling through my Insta feed, I can run into a spoiler image because I looked at a photo with #ffvii two weeks ago. Just existing on the internet is a risk, and one I’m not willing to take. So I’m going to run.
I want to try to surpass Wedge’s high score in darts at Seventh Heaven, to work on my technique until I can beat Jules in the pull-up challenge, but I'm worried about spending too much time. I just want to beat the game and be able to explore the internet without worry again. I don’t want to have to wince at every FFVII thumbnail on YouTube or be wary searching the hashtag for hilarious screenshots of Cloud in a dress.
My playthrough of the game ends tonight. I’ll probably beat it in around 42 hours, which is crazy to think about in a week and a half. I’ll be more motivated to replay the game and take my time once I know how it ends, but did this added pressure ruin my first playthrough of the game? I don't know and don't think I ever will; it's the new normal, something I just have to get used to. But it bothered me enough to write about it, so here I am!
Remember to wash your hands and I'll see you next game!