In the last couple weeks, I can’t say I’ve been particularly happy. I’ve fallen deep into a routine that is suffocating me. Work, eat, sleep repeat. I am losing the valor for life I am known for; night after night I sit on the couch eating pretzels instead of doing, dreaming, living. I’ve come to terms with the fact that I am bored with most aspects of my life. Nothing has changed in such a long time, everything is so monotonous.
In the words of a great band, I need to “spice up my life” so, in order to motivate myself not to become complacent, I am trying to breathe fresh air into my life through an advice column! Adult life is hard, but maybe some of you can figure yourselves out through hearing my experience.
Read below to see how I/you can make a boring life a kawaii life!
Disclaimer: I am not a professional advice giver (if you didn’t already know that).
Work
My job is pretty boring. I’m not very interested in it and I’m not enjoying it very much. But I can’t leave it…just not yet. It’s a resume builder so I need to hold out long enough so it looks good, which means I’m going to be passing a lot of time sitting at my desk bored.
Or not.
The first suggestion is the simplest: try to like your job. When you get a new project, go into it optimistically. If someone gives you a task, try to fulfill it wholeheartedly. Make the most of what you have. Give yourself challenges within your duties to motivate yourself. If you can, make your job a game. Amusing yourself through the misery can be hard, but can also be really effective.
Preoccupy yourself with fun things when you’re not busy. Little old me, I made this blog. It helps me get through my work so I have something to look forward to. Start a blog, work some freelance remotely. These rewards will help the day go.
At the end of the day though, if you don’t like your job, you may want to look for a new one. I already have a timeline for when I can start looking for a new job. Never settle; if you’re my age or around it, you’re too young to settle. Sometimes even looking for jobs is fun (applying isn’t though). Keep your horizons open; the only one who can take advantage of new opportunities in your life is you!
Home
I live alone. There are only so many things you can do by yourself. Watch TV, play video games, eat, clean…I get so bored laying around my house all day. There are small things I try to do to make my home life more interesting. The most obvious thing is inviting people over so that you’re not alone. Out of all my friends, I’m the only one with my own place so, when we hang, we usually do it at my apartment. But as an adult you need to be able to entertain yourself! So here are some tips I’m going to apply throughout the year.
Cook more! Trying new recipes can be fun. No matter who you are, you have to eat. Make it an event! I suck at cooking so I’ve been trying to expand my repertoire. Burn a candle, put on some of your favorite tunes and getting cookin’! Maybe you’ll discover a secret talent you never knew you had. If only I good get myself to the store to get stuff to cook…
Video games! I mentioned this in my article Learning to Live and Be Alone but video games basically saved me. They allow you to engage in a community and be a part of a story that makes you feel important. I prefer to play RPGs, they read like books, and make me feel like I’m on an adventure and not sitting on my couch. But, lately, I have been getting a bit bored of games as well, so take that into consideration.
Finally, to refresh your home life, don’t go home. Go to the gym, hang out with friends, do something. It’ll make those hours between work and sleep so much more bearable. Try out a new restaurant, even if you’re alone. There’s always something to experience, sometimes the only thing you have to do is leave.
Relationships
I am happily in a five-year relationship with my first-time boyfriend Mike. Dating him is awesome— we share a sense of humor, similar life struggles and compassion for humanity; one could say we mesh well together. He’s a great guy, a really standout person, and I consider myself lucky to have fallen in love with him. But, like every aspect of my life, I’m getting a bit restless. Am I getting bored of my super cool dude?
Yes and no, it’s a complex question. My boredom has nothing to do whether or not I love him (I do) or whether or not I want to break up with him (I don’t). We’ve been together for five years; that’s a long time for anyone! Things are bound to get repetitive. It’s like being in the back of a car with your sibling for a long time…you love them but eventually start to get bored. Don’t be afraid of that feeling. It happens to everyone. There was a stint our senior year of college when Mike felt the same way. He got bored and that’s not bad. It’s natural. Now I feel that way too.
So I have some advice for me and anyone in this situation!
First piece of advice: if you’re bored, change it up! I keep pushing Mike to go on trips with me, to see new places together and try new things. Going on adventures is great, going with someone you love is euphoric. Last year, we went to Rhode Island and ice skating in Central Park. It was amazing. This year, I want us to go to more places and try new things. Sharing those kinds of new experiences together reinforces the bond you share and strengthens the foundation of your relationship.
Second: do some stuff without your partner. You’re in the back of the car with your sibling and you run out of card games to play. You’re bored, your sibling is bored, your parents are listening to music you don’t like and the scenery isn’t changing. Sometimes all it takes is a pit stop, to get out of the car, pee and grab a Dr. Pepper, to bring life the back of the family Chevy.
I’m not telling you to take a break from your relationship and see other people. Just take a breather. I’m going to a play with a friend next month and visiting a friend out-of-state by myself. I’m not going to flirt or anything, I’m just going to be me, alone. Reminding yourself of your individuality in a relationship is important, it stops you two from suffocating each other.
Lastly: talk to your dude or lady. Technically, this should be the first step. “Communication is key” is a clichéd phrase for a reason. Abide by it. Holding in those feelings and trying to suppress them leads to cheating and poor decisions (we haven’t done that).
Pull the car over and be honset. Maybe you’re both feeling the same way? Maybe you both want to crack the windows a bit. Changing some aspects of your relationship may wind up being fun! And knowing you’re not alone in feeling a certain way is always reassuring.
Mike and I are lucky; we have strong communication in our relationship and we talk about things. I’m going to tell him how I feel and we are going to work from there. And if anyone’s worried, don’t be. We’ll be fine.
I realize that I may sound depressed; I don’t think I am. I think I am just slightly unhappy right now. But, as do days, life has its seasons and I await the beautiful spring! I just have to pull through and get there. Something interesting will happen soon…hopefully…